Equanimity is the awareness of balance and non-attachment even in the face of a difficult situation. When the observer within you (the witness) becomes present in the moment and connects with the energy of compassion and equanimity, it will surpass the attachment and reactionary responses.
I have witnessed this in two different ways.
One is when you are almost snapped into a total awareness, and you start seeing through the third eye as the observer. It happens in an instant and you immediately pay attention without judgment or any reaction at all. This happens spontaneously and without conscious thought or effort.
The second way is when you make a conscious choice to call the observer forward. You notice your ego and you ask yourself to become the witness of the situation. I play a game. I say, “in this moment, if I were to watch this from the outside, what would it look like?”
When you make it into a game, your ego is less resistant and open to allowing the observer to be present. Next, ask yourself to be present with the bigger picture and how all involved are feeling and open your own heart to compassion for everyone, including yourself.