Episode 022: Ego Dissolution Deep Transformation of the Ego

Transcription

(00:02):

Hi, my beautiful friends! I am so excited because today we're going to talk about Ego Dissolution, Deep Transformation of the Ego. Yes, we are going there today. We are in this series around transformation and this ego dissolution. So, we've talked about the Dark Night of the Soul, about transformation and shadow work, and now we have to kind of get a little deep and start talking about the ego, because I can't talk about what I want to talk about for the I AM presence energy, which will be the next podcast, until we have really discussed and gone deep into the ego.

(01:27):

That beautiful part of us that is responsible for so much of who we are, of our identity. So let's get started. The most beautiful thing about the ego is that it is here for a purpose. It's not a purposeless experience or something that we want to kill off. It is part of us, but everybody has these ideas about the ego. And a lot of people get very defensive when you start talking about the ego and it's because the ego wants to keep its ties. It wants to keep its grip on you. So it will do certain things to help itself feel more empowered. Now the ego is responsible for how we perceive our world and how we perceive it as separate. Everything being something else. So there's me and there's you. And we're separate beings. There's me and the clock, separate things. There's my cup of tea and the tea bag.

(02:44):

So all of these things are separate, but what happens when we see the world in such deep separation, there becomes this polarity and an alchemy polarity is the energy of opposites. Everything has its pair of opposites and they are identical in nature, but they're different in design. It's the duality of right, wrong, good, bad. And the ego definitely gets so involved with those opposites. And it will actually say to you, “Oh, you know, if you say that that will be really bad.” And then in the next breath, egos going, “You should say that.” So it's literally a contradiction. So the ego literally contradicts itself all the time. It is in constant conflict and contradiction, which sometimes can make us a little crazy. And sometimes we don't even notice that we're in this conflicting thought process. I should/ shouldn't. It's good. It's bad. “Oh, if they do that, that's bad.

(03:59):

But if I do that, that's okay.” And we don't even notice that we say these contradictory things, I've watched. So many of my clients do it. I recognize it pretty quickly. And some do it more than others. So this polarity within can really wreak havoc on us because the ego is so connected to the separation. It sees things outside of itself and its identity a lot of times as a threat. Yes. As a threat. it's because the ego's job is to actually protect the physical body. It's been created on this earth plane so that we recognize, “Oh, there's a lion.” And we're not going to the lion, saying “pretty lion,” petting the lion and we’re eaten, right? So it's a protection, but it's also our detriment. So the separation energy is created because that's that veil that we say, when we are incarnate here on the earth plane, we have a veil that shrouds us and doesn't allow us to see what we truly are, like the all that is, or all the lifetimes that we've had.

(05:27):

We may have glimpses of lifetimes, or we may know a couple of stories, but we don't know the thousands of lifetimes that you've had. You don't know who you were on the other side. Maybe you have some glimpses and some understanding, but we don't come with the full knowledge of that. We come with some sort of a veil. And if we want this matrix to work properly, we have to have this availability of seeing the self as a completely separate being. Because if we were one, then we wouldn't have this matrix experience because we would be able to experience everybody's thoughts and feelings and connection. And it would be a totally different opportunity and adventure that's so different than what we're used to. So think about it this way. We're used to all hanging out together, understanding each other, seeing energy movement. And then we come to this matrix that we are able to create.

(06:39):

We create this experience here. And because it is our creation, it's very different because we're learning to create physical objects in this matrix. It's different because on the other side, in whatever way you want to look at the other side, in that energy, it's all about energy and creating energy from energy. Here, we are given the availability of creating energy into matter. And that's a whole different opportunity. So think about it this way. When we are in oneness, we completely understand on all levels. It's visceral, how people feel, what they're thinking, what's going on. But here on the earth plane, we don't have that availability. Although, of course, that's changing with the Ascension. And I know that I can feel and sense things on many, many levels. Yes. That's only because that's the Ascension. But we are still connected to this ego that sees everything as separate.

(07:52):

When I look outside, I see a bird. I don't think, “Oh, I am the bird. The bird is me.” And maybe I have this philosophical understanding, but I don't know exactly what it means to think like a bird, to eat like a bird, because I'm not a bird. I am separate from that bird. And that's what the ego is. It shows that you are not the bird. You are not the lion. You are not your mother. We are separate beings. And this separation causes strife. So basically this polarity that we live in and how the ego perceives this matrix of the earth plane is what causes us suffering. We suffer from this disconnect. Now think about it. As humans, we have this availability of knowing that we are one or understanding that we are part of a larger existence. Some people understand that it's not just that we're just human.

(09:02):

We understand the spirit part of us, but we feel separate. We feel disconnected from other people. And in that disconnection, we feel weird things like unworthiness and happiness, sadness, anger, betrayal. We experienced these things, and those things cause us suffering. If we're in oneness energy, we can't suffer in the same way. So this matrix that we have created is our way of understanding the depth of the possibilities of the ego and how the ego can perceive and create in a whole different way than our soul or higher consciousness can. Now, according to the Law of One, The Raw Material, they talk about why we're here. So in that channeling, in the book, they actually state that we come to this earth plane to decide whether we're going to the positive path or the negative path. Now positive path is service to others. Negative path is service to self, but let's just be clear on this.

(10:21):

It doesn't mean good or bad because it's just a duality. It's just part of the polarity of this experience. And we can't make that choice of service to self or service to other, which, from what I understand, both are legitimate choices. So we're coming here to make choices. And that's kind of what the free will is all about. What choice are you deciding? Are you deciding service to self or service to others? And both are legitimate. And most people are going to want to say, “No, no, no. I want service to others. That's all that I want.” But there's this balance and we are making a choice and it's not a good or bad thing. Only on this earth plane, in this polarity or duality experience, can we say, “Oh, that's good” or “that's bad.” So basically we're here to make a choice. We are given the opportunity lifetime after lifetime after lifetime to make this really clear delineation of where we're going to head. Both positive and negative paths lead back to the oneness, creation, creator, source energy.  In the Law of One, they call it the infinite creator.

(11:47):

But basically, it will lead back to that. So it's not like if you choose the negative path, you won't be able to go back to oneness. That's not how that works. You are choosing the path and then it comes back together. So think of it like the infinity sign, right? So you're choosing one path, but it always goes back to the center. So, no matter which path you choose, to go right first and then left, or left first and then right. Both bring you back to the oneness center space. So, either the negative path or the positive path all brings you back to the same place eventually, but there are different opportunities and different experiences. And isn't that great that you have that opportunity to choose which one? And again, I'm not going to say it's good or bad because the Law of One is very, very clear.

(12:42):

That is not a positive or negative thing. It is not good or bad. Both are legitimate possibilities and legitimate choices. But not to freak you all out. Let's just decide that you've chosen the positive path. So I don't want you to get into your head about this because you don't want to make yourself afraid. I knew someone once who had studied the Law of One material. And they said, “I think I chose the negative path and what can I do? How can I clear that?” And I looked and I was like, “Yeah, no, you did not.  It doesn't look that way.” I think you are bringing that upon yourself and you don't need to. Now realize, most of us have not made that choice 100% and both are legitimate. Now, as I'm explaining the Law of One, I'm almost a little apprehensive because I don't want you to take what I'm saying and make it into a very polarized experience or understanding. Don't polarize what I'm saying.

(13:51):

And if you want to learn more about the Law of One, you can certainly read the books, the Law of One. And I have to be honest, the Law of One is very dense material. I've read it over and over and over again over the years. I think I learned about the Law of One back in 2010, maybe.  And I still don't think I fully grasp the fullness of the Law of One. And I've been really trying to study it over the last couple of years. It is a very dense material. So, getting back to the ego. What you want to understand is that the ego is here to keep up the facade in this matrix that we are creating, that we are separate beings. And from that separation, we're making a choice. And this is because we are just experiencing this time and space.

(14:49):

And this is an opportunity for us. It's not like many of the other opportunities for souls. This is a really unique experience to make this major choice. And you can only be done on the third plane. It can only be done in this frequency of duality, of polarity, because once you get beyond that or before that, that opportunity's not there. So we had to create this egoic self that is different or separate from the soul self, so that we could see the duality. Experience. I touch my phone, I pick it up. What does it feel to touch something? It's different than it is on the energy plane. You pet an animal like you pet your dog or your pet or your iguana. And you're petting it. It feels different than if you were just sensing the energy of that animal. It's a whole different experience.

(15:54):

It doesn't mean it's a better experience or a worse experience. It's just an experience. And if you start to recognize that the separation is what's causing you so much difficulty in your life, you have more availability to transcend and transmute it. Now that doesn't mean that we're going to be mad at the ego or mad at God, because we were put here on this plane, the infinite creator, didn't say, “I know how to screw them over. We'll do this.” No, it was we that made the choice. We were like, “You know what? I'm ready for that evolutionary experience. We think is trillions of years, but it's really a drop in the bucket. It's really just an inhale and exhale, and then it's over. But it seems like it's arduous and moves on and on, and it's never going to end, but it does. It's just an in breath and an exhale.

(16:51):

And that's how quickly on the other side it seems. Just when you are living in this time space continuum, that's when it seems like it's a long ass time. So in this polarity experience, we're now moving into the Ascension. And this is when things are ramping up of the choice. So now is the time, according, at least the way I see it from the Law of One is we're making that choice. And it's becoming very clear of what choice we're going to decide to do, the positive path or the negative path. So basically we're moving into the fifth dimension, right? So that is the frequency of oneness of love. We're moving toward that frequency. That's what the Ascension is. Basically, what the Law of One is saying is that we are moving from the third chakra of fear and control into the heart chakra, which is the energy of love.

(17:53):

And we are making this choice, but we can choose the negative path or the positive path in that choice. Now you have a basic understanding of why we chose to have an ego and experience this matrix. Because the ego sees itself as a separate entity from everything and everyone around us in the matrix, it lives in the place of protecting the physical body, which means that it lives in a place of deception and fear. And what I mean by that is the ego deceives us. It says, “You're not that person. That person is bad. You’re good.” The ego will say, “You are that person. They're bad. So, you must be bad, right?” So, it does both. You know it does. You've heard it say both. And it takes these things and creates this deception. So we deceive ourselves that we are separate. We're deceiving ourselves that the lies that we tell ourselves are our truth, or we deceive ourselves that there is an ultimate truth.

(19:06):

And basically there's only one truth. One. UNO truth. Everything else is a deception in this matrix. The one and only truth is that we are all one, that's it. Now there are laws that we live under in this matrix. So we have to live under these laws and we're living under the laws of gravity. We live under the laws of polarity, of duality, right? Those are the laws that we live under. The ego sees this matrix as reality, but it likes to think that these things are real. So, there must be a good, bad, right, wrong. And it has to say, that's good. That's bad. Fire, bad. Oh, wait, fire, good. Is fire good? Or is fire bad? How do we see it? Oh, fire's bad. Only in this container, but in that container, it's good. Right? There you go. It's confusing. The matrix gets very confusing.

(20:08):

When the ego gets involved, it deceives us. It's constantly telling us all these programs that we've received from society, from other humans, from our family, right? It is deceiving us. So it deceives us that that person is a horrible person. Well, maybe they were just having a bad day and they reacted because maybe they had a lot of abuse or they've been hurt. So instead of judging that person, maybe we should have more compassion, but the ego has trouble with those feelings of compassion or what you would say, maybe a higher state of consciousness of love, oneness, because it lives in deception. And the other way the ego lives is fear. Fear is the ego's playground. Fear is the way the ego looks at the world. Should I be afraid? Should I not be afraid? It's constantly looking at everything outside of the self. Should I be afraid?

(21:13):

Should I not be afraid? And it's constantly doing that. The ego also looks inside of itself and asks, is this good? Are you thinking good thoughts? Are you being positive? Right? Like you're supposed to be spiritual! Only high vibes! Only good thoughts. Everything else is bad. Oh, you thought that bad thought, then you must be bad. Right? And then you're going, “Wait a minute, just give me a moment. Let me breathe, please. Ego. Shhh. Just chill a little bit. And let me breathe.” And you know, it gets really confusing because we see and perceive our ego as our identity. I am this person who is separate from you, who is a mother, who is a brother, right. We see ourselves in this identity. And that's just what the ego does because it needs to identify everything. If it has identity of everything, then it can say, I'm this, not that. I'm not that, I'm this. And that identity gives it its purpose,

(22:25):

it's understanding. So, with fear, what happens with the ego, fear is the ego's playground. Boy, does it love fear! It feels more alive and more purposeful when it lives from a place of fear. So, it will give you little nuggets saying, “Well, maybe you shouldn't talk to that person because maybe it won't go well. Remember when you tried to friend someone just like that and it didn't go so well, they became a really bad person. So don't do that.” or “Run after love.” “Go get love.” “Go find someone to love you. Find your soulmate.” These are things that the ego wants you to pursue. Something outside of me will make me feel whole. It's always looking outside of itself for its homeness, but the wholeness is within. It's so funny how contradictory the ego really is. It sees everything as separate and as a possible threat.

(23:36):

And then all it does is seek everything outside of itself, a new car, a new partner, a best friend, a new job, right? It is seeking these things outside of itself to feel whole. So it's such a contradiction and that's where it keeps you stuck in the matrix. The contradiction, the polarity, the duality, is what keeps you stuck in the matrix. Now, of course it's designed that way. So I want you to understand the ego's designed to keep us thinking that this matrix is real. And once we start to awaken to the understanding that we are more than just this identity or this physical body, it gives us a whole different experience. And that is kind of what the awakening or the Ascension is all about. Understanding that we are not just this physical being, that we are so much more, we're multi-dimensional. But then the ego will come back in and say, “No, no, look, that thing happened.

(24:44):

Aren't you mad that that happened? Yes. You should be really angry. You should re like seek revenge. You should go play video games for 10 hours, watch TV,” right? It's keeping you in that place of deception. The other deception that the ego insists on is that we are separate from our creator, that we are so far removed from this God being this creator source energy. And of course that creates so many problems for us, right? It creates this feeling that we are unloved or unlovable. And again, then the ego will take that and run with it. “Oh yeah. You're unlovable. Remember your parents said this about you or did that, and your programming is this.” But I want you to understand, empower yourself. You chose to come here and experience this. If you had a difficult life, it’s most likely because it was a catalyst for you to accelerate your spiritual awakening and your spiritual evolvement.

(25:53):

So I want you to understand that this is a very important time for you. You are creating your reality and either you're allowing your ego to create your reality or your higher consciousness. We are caught up in the ego's layer. The ego's existence depends upon our consciousness, our thoughts, and our unconscious programming. It drives the desire to be special and important. And this helps us see ourselves as separate and allows humans to recognize that they are either superior beings in this world, or maybe they're inferior to other humans. It allows us to survive in this universe. The ego's main focus is preservation of self and its control over the environment. And we've seen that in so many ways. We're trying to control our environment. The ego is obsessed with the story and actually the ego kind of fears that higher consciousness. And it will try to pull you back. “Nope, remember you’re a body.

(27:05):

Nope. Remember you’re a human. Nope. Don't think about higher consciousness. Don't go into that oneness place. Stay with me, stay with me.” It needs to be fed. And we feed it all the time. “Look at that bad person. I feel so bad myself. I should have all this guilt and shame.” You know, it sits in that place of eating up that energy, those lower frequencies that spiritual people always talk about. But the ego's kind of afraid of the higher consciousness because it doesn't want to lose its manipulation, it's control. Now, some people will say, “Well, why are you talking about the ego like it's a separate thing? It's part of me.” And I understand that, and we're not trying to kill it off or alienate it. We want to start to recognize that we are not the ego. And as you become more of the observer “Oh yeah.

(28:02):

that ego saying that, how does that feel to me? What's really going on inside? Oh yeah. It's saying that thing. It's judging that person or judging that situation. Is that true? Or is my ego deceiving me making me think that that's good or that's bad, or this is true and that's not true? Is it a deception? Am I buying into the ego's deception? Or am I empowering myself beyond that deception?” Now, of course, the ego is definitely programmed from our past, our past traumas, our past issues and things that have been told to us. It just utilizes the subconscious programming that's already there to create its identity. I personally see the ego as a seven-year-old kid, high on sugar, running around with no place to go. No thought of what it's doing. It just is all over the place. It's up and down, in and out.

(29:09):

It's just all over the place. And the higher self is more like the dude. It just hangs out. It’s like, “Dude, it's all good. It's cool. We're all good.” Right? Basically the ego doesn't have any thoughts of its own. It is programmed through the programs of your past, past lives, past experiences, past traumas. And it takes those subconscious programmings and creates your reality from that, creates your matrix, creates your stories. It takes that experience and creates this world around you. But when you start to take your power back from those programs, you start live more in a higher consciousness. And that higher consciousness is this energy of recognizing that you are not this or that. You are not tall or thin or old or cute or ugly or crazy. You are all that there is. You are all that is. And those states of higher consciousness peak through

(30:29)

as you do your work, as you start dissolving the ego’s programming. And what I mean by dissolving the ego's programming is that you are going in and you're looking at where the traumas are stuck in the cellular body. You go into your Akashic Records, preferably on the quantum field, and transcend and transmute the entanglements that create this programming from the ego. And then you have more availability to live in a higher consciousness, to be more multi-dimensional and connect multidimensionally to who you truly are. And then the ego has less room to say all the things it seems to say, because the programming isn't there. It will still try to find little cracks in the foundation to sprout up, but the more you let go or transcend or transmute those lower energies, the more availability to your own higher consciousness you have. And to dissolve the ego, you have to be willing to go deep into that shadow work.

(31:43):

And we've talked a lot about that, shadow, the shadow work and that Dark Night of the Soul and all those crappy things that happen to us. We are dissolving that energy. So, there's more availability to your higher consciousness and your I AM presence. Now in the next podcast, we'll be talking about the I AM presence. We'll be discussing what that means to live from that place and I'll give you some tools to help you be more present with the I AM presence. I would really appreciate if you left a review and told your friends about this podcast, please send this out to others. Be of service to others, by sharing this with other people, your friends, your family, and I send you so much love, have a great day.