Episode 023: Ego Dissolution Transfiguration into the I AM

Transcription

(00:02):

Hello, and welcome to the spiritual expansion and Ascension podcast. Your guide on this crazy spiritual journey with me, Melissa Feick. This podcast is for those who want to expand their consciousness and dive deep into the great awakening and the next paradigm shift. We'll be exploring all sorts of metaphysical and mystical topics, including timelines, parallel realities, the matrix, the quantum field, manifestation, aliens, the Akashic records, and so much more. It's time to raise your vibe.

(00:41):

Hi, and welcome to Spiritual Expansion. In today's episode, we're actually going to be talking about ego dissolution and transfiguration into the I AM. I'm Melissa Feick, your host. And I'm so excited because this has been a long time coming. And I know I had this great series on the Ego, Dissolution of the Ego, Dark Night of the Soul, but the most important part was the transfiguration into the I AM. So that's what we're going to talk about today. So if you haven't listened to the other three episodes in the series, I suggest you do. That will really help you understand how to utilize the ego dissolution. So what that means is dissolving the ego self, the ego mind, the ego’s thoughts, but let's talk just for a second about the I AM, that's a big I, a big A, a big M. I AM what does that mean?

(01:55):

I AM, I mean, we say that all the time, right? I am this. I am that. I am tall. I am short. But I am talking about the I AM of all that. I AM meaning the I AM without the ego's identity. This is the part of you that does not have a definition, and you don't even need to know what it is. When you start to define the I AM and try to find it and are looking under rocks to discover it, you're missing the whole point. But of course, in order for me to explain it to you, I kind of have to explain it in the: what you are not and what you are. So I am not my ego. I am my higher consciousness. The thing is, what you probably don't really know, is that, let's say the end result or the goal of the Ascension process is being the I AM or the I AM presence.

(03:04):

Now, that's not really true. I'm giving you this as a nice slice of cake. But when I say the goal is this, that's not exactly what I mean. But the Ascension process is part of the I AM presence, the I AM all that I AM. I'm using the word ‘goal’ loosely. Okay? Because technically in the Ascension process, there is no beginning of the Ascension process. And there is no end to the Ascension process because the Ascension is a progression of energy. The Ascension process moves through your old paradigm of who you think you are, who you thought you were, all your identity and really, everything that you thought you knew. That old paradigm, you have to be willing to give it all up. That means that you are no longer associating yourself with any identity of self other than I AM. That means you're not identifying with your pain.

(04:30):

You're not identifying with your idea of being a parent or a best friend or a business person or a spiritual leader. Those identities get thrown out, because what are those identities? That's the ego's connection with who the ego thinks you are. Now, one thing you have to understand is that if you're giving up this old paradigm of self to become the I AM, or to be the I AM is really the best way to say it, to be the I AM. Then your ego will get a little crazy in there because you probably will resist the I AM because the ego doesn't understand I AM. The ego's identity can't fathom a part of you that does not have an identity that it can project into the world. It has ideas of itself. So the ego has this idea of what it is and its identity and the I AM presence,

(05:49):

or the I AM all that I AM, is the total opposite of those identities or the old paradigm of who you are. So the I AM, that part of you, that's your higher consciousness, your oneness, disassociated with the ego. That I AM challenges the ego, and it challenges your sense of self. Think about this: Who would you be without the definition of who you are? Who would you be without the label of who you think you are? Who would you be without those controlling energies or thoughts that you have? That's going to really challenge our good old ego. It's going to challenge the way the ego perceives its world because the ego's job is always to project its ideas and identities out into the external world. The I AM is all that you are, regardless of if you're in a human body or not. So here's the ego:

(07:14):

It says, “Hey man, I am too smart to lose me. So I don't want to be this cosmic consciousness. I don't want to be this higher awareness of the I AM. What does that mean to how I relate to my parents? What does that mean to how I relate to other people? Making sure that they know that I am this type of person or that type of person,” because the ego wants to control everything and the I AM presence, or your higher consciousness, has no interest in control, has no interest in identity. It doesn't matter what you label it or what it's labeled. So for instance, when you are in that higher state of consciousness of bliss, oneness, I AMness, you could care less if someone says to you, “boy, I really thought that you would be a lot nicer” or they may say, “boy, you're really amazing,

(08:21):

I think you're so great,” right? Both of those things, the ego's going to eat up. It's going to either suffer because you said something negative about me, or you're going to make me feel like “woohoo I am awesome!” Because the ego is going to eat both of them up. So whether the ego is suffering that you said something negative or excited that you said something positive will not matter to your I AM  presence, will not matter to your higher consciousness, because it's connected to all it is. It's connected to that cosmic frequency of oneness, bliss, connection. And that's the opposite of the ego, right? The ego sees separation and disconnection and identity and projection. And the ego likes control, especially control over the way that it makes you perceive your world. So if you perceive your world from the ego consciousness, you're actually projecting all the ideas of who you are out into the world

(09:39):

and you suffer more. Basically ego equals suffering equals projection equals not fun at all. So the ego likes to control the I AM, or even the higher consciousness. It does this little game to distract you from your I AM presence, or your higher consciousness. It distracts you by keeping the incessant thoughts running through your mind. Don't do this, don't do that. Maybe you should do that. Why didn't you do this? Right? And it makes you kind of crazy. At least it makes me crazy. I don't know about you, but it definitely makes me a little crazy. So what it does, the ego keeps you distracted from being the I AM to become the I AM. The ego actually has to sacrifice its identity or belief systems or its old paradigms. And as you dissolve the ego and all those old paradigms, it slowly dissolves that ego self because it chips away at the ego's identity.

(11:04):

And when you chip away at all those projections that you put out in the world, it actually helps bring forward the I AM presence. The I AM presence isn't something you can chase after or find in some way. It's already part of you, just like the ego is already part of you. But the problem is the I AM presence like intuition is the quieter part of you. Like you have the loud boisterous child and you have the very subdued, quiet child. Which one do you recognize? Which do you notice more? It's the louder one. So the ego is easier to recognize than the I AM, or the all that you are, or the higher consciousness. That part of you is still there. It's just hanging out under the surface. But as you chip away at the ego's identity, you actually build your own connection with the I AM of all that

(12:16):

I AM. You strengthen your ability to become more of the I AM and less of the ego's voice. So what happens is you start to trust more of the I AM and start to witness the ego. And it's little games of distraction of keeping you at a lower vibration because the I AM is the core of who you are. This is you. Now, the ego is the you that is projected into this reality. The I AM, or oneness, or blissful state, or higher consciousness. Usually I call it the higher consciousness, but I like this  “I AM” presence kind of energy. So this I AM is you. It's the core of who you are, but the ego distracts you from it. It keeps you focused on the projections and identities that it creates around you. So it, the ego, keeps you in a place of distraction.

(13:39):

So it identifies with these outward identities. I am smart. I am young. I am old. These things distract you from your higher states of consciousness. So think about it this way. The I AM is connected to the one mind or the creator source energy. The I AM is the mind of all that is without the thoughts, without the distractions, without the identity. So the I AM is without ego. So the I AM is the disconnection from your ego state or the thoughts of who you are or your identity because the I AM is oneness, it's blissfulness, it's connection. It's the cosmic consciousness. I think that the I AM is a big part of what a lot of people would consider Ascension or enlightenment, because if you can hold your mind in a steady, quiet place and just be, BE, “B”-”E” who you are the I AM.

(15:03):

And you're just being without thought, without connection, without identity, without needing to label things, you're more of who you truly are. And that  is considered enlightenment. So the I AM is enlightenment. The Ascension is enlightenment. We can use so many of these words and I don't really think that enlightenment is something that we should chase after. Ascension isn't something we should try to find, because it's already here. It's already available to us because think about this. Enlightenment is connecting with that oneness state, with that blissful energy and connection and feeling expansive. That's when you are the I AM when you are being, big B big E, being the I AM. Now, enlightenment is like this  idea or this desire to be something, right, but really Ascension is just part of a process. And so is enlightenment. So enlightenment is a process and Ascension is a process. And this process is moving from the ego's control and identity of what it thinks that it is and becoming all that you truly are,

(16:47):

or the I AM. This process is just part of the Ascension, part of our evolution. This is where we're headed. So we don't need to chase after it. It will come eventually. But if you decide to dissolve more of that good old ego and become more of your higher consciousness, that will speed your Ascension process up. But that's only in time and space, and everything's happening exactly the way it should be, but, you know, hey, we might as well look at the I AM, dissolve the ego and open up to that energy. It's much easier for us to be in bliss than to be in anger, right? We would agree on that one because none of us want to suffer. So the I AM is who you truly are. And the I AM cannot suffer or hurt in any way, but the ego will fight to keep your attention.

(17:53):

And it will hold the attention of suffering. When we become the I AM, you experience this cosmic collective higher consciousness. It's this beingness. And you start to dissolve the ego because you recognize, hey, that suffering isn't really who I am, because when I'm in this I AM state or in this blissful state, I can't suffer. And all those states of higher consciousness like the I AM, that's already there. So you can't go and find it. It's already part of who you are, but the lower energies like traumas and energies that keep you in ego suffering, it keeps you distracted from that higher consciousness part of you or the I AM. And I keep on using the word ‘distracted’, because it's not this ogre that's hurting you. It's distracting you, just like when my daughter doesn't want to have a certain conversation with me, she'll try to distract or change the conversation and distract me from what I'm talking about.

(19:12):

And the ego does the same thing just is a sly little smart thing that says, hey, look over here. It's a trick, right? So now remember the ego is attached. It's attached to its identity, it's thoughts, it's feelings, it's suffering. And we can really get lost in the ego. We can get lost in thoughts about our past. We can get lost in thoughts about our future. And we're so unaware when we get into this lost place, we become lost children. Now, when we get lost and distracted into those egos’ suffering or identity crises that it always has, you are unaware of the I AM. You're unaware of oneness, of connection, because if you're suffering, or in the ego's identity, you're not in the I AM at all. You don't even recognize it. It seems like an elusive thing. Now you're making this choice to be attached to your identity or to the suffering and the old paradigm,

(20:33):

the old thoughts, the old beliefs that keep you in that suffering energy. Sometimes in meditation, I like to do this little practice. I like to say “I am not my thoughts. I am more than my thoughts. I am not my body. I am more than my body. I am not my pain. I am not my suffering. I AM all that I AM.” When you say something like that, you are more in the place of the I AMness and less attached to the ego's identity of pain, suffering thoughts, body. So you are the I AM because in the I AM, you are the stillness. You are love. You are bliss. It's an energy that is a subtler frequency, higher frequency yes, but subtler. So why don't you try this little practice? I want you to start saying “I AM all that I AM.I AM.” And then also say, “I AM nothing.”

(21:48):

I AM all that I AM. I AM nothing. Now I know that might be weird because, wait a minute, I'm not a nothing. If I am something, if I AM all that I AM then I AM something. I'm not nothing, but that “I AM nothing” energy disconnects you from all the projections the ego does. And I love that. I AM nothing. I say that a lot to myself and not just that I say it. I try to completely embody and feel the “I AM nothing”. Because in that place, I hold back the energy of identity. It's kind of hard to explain, but that's how it feels to me. It's almost like I don't even care what I am. I'm nothing. I mean nothing. I AM nothing. And when I actually experience this, I feel it. This is because your heart is divine.

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You are oneness. You are love. And when you sit in your heart space and you're in that divine essence of I AM, you're not attached to anything within the ego, since your heart is the I AM And you're this divine energy of love and I AM, then you can't be the ego. You can't be both because they contradict each other. Now the next second, you may breathe in and be like, “I'm so upset.” Now you're in ego, which isn't a bad thing. Neither the ego, nor the I AM is better than the other. They just are what they are. But if you're on the path of Ascension, you want to be more of the I AM consciousness and less of the ego consciousness. And again, it's not good or bad. It just is what it is, but it has to be a practice. This isn't something you can just snap your fingers and have happen.

(24:04):

It is a practice. It's an ongoing practice because you want to make sure that you're dissolving the ego enough to bring forward the I AM all that I AM, or the higher consciousness. To me, this divine love energy really comes from the spiritual heart and the I AM, and that's all about love. To me, everything's about love and oneness. And you can call it so many different things, but it's really about that higher state of consciousness, of love, bliss, connection, oneness. And what happens is the ego. It needs to feel separate. So it distracts you from that oneness. So what if your thoughts became quiet? What if a difficult situation comes up and you see the realness and the divine energy in it, and you don't feel any suffering and then you feel peaceful and you're more quiet and you understand the bigger picture and you see the divine essence in it. All of this can freak the ego out. It can make the ego feel like its job is done and it will fight to have its job back, of the sufferer, the victim, the bad thing happened.

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Or “you're so awesome. You're so great,” right? That's

(25:41):

what the ego is looking for. But what if you actually had inner peace and you felt just peaceful. And actually in my book, I actually talk about how to release all your thought forms and move into the awareness of your heart. And the reason that came to me was so that people could understand and feel what it felt like to be at peace and have a really quiet mind, even if it was only for 40 seconds/ a minute. In that minute, or a couple of minutes, that quiet mind meant no thoughts. And that's pretty amazing. And so many people need that because in that ‘no thought’ place, that's where the I AM is. Let's talk about Ascension again, just for a minute, so that I can really help you understand and be clear. Ascension is always a process. So there's never an end game in the Ascension process.

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You're not trying to reach a goal. You're not trying to reach enlightenment because you're moving through a process. And sometimes you have to hit a certain level of awareness, right? Because all spiritual seeking or all spiritual awakening is all about awareness. You get to that level and you think, okay, wow, I got here. So this must be it. And then a new awareness comes in, a new level. And I don't mean wisdom. I mean a divine awareness and there's no end result because when you think that there's an end result, that means you're actually living in the ego's idea or identity of Ascension or enlightenment. And the reason I wanted to bring this up is because I always hear spiritual people say that they went through this awakening and they experienced this great awakening, but that's just a realization that there's something more than the ego or that they don't have to live in suffering.

(28:04):

That's actually what this awakening's about. And when you start to recognize that you are more than just this body, you get a sense of something else besides the identity you project into the world. Now, as you're moving through this Ascension process, you may have this what I call a higher state of consciousness experience like inner peace or this blissfulness or oneness. And you may think, “oh my gosh, I've experienced my awakening. I'm enlightened!” But again, it's an Ascension process. You're moving toward your awareness that you aren't your thoughts. You aren't your body. You're not your ego. You're not your suffering. That you're more than these things. You are the I AM, but guess what? The ego wants you to attach to the body. It wants you to identify with your thoughts and project them out into the world, that you have this important energy or that, oh my gosh, you've suffered.

(29:18):

Or that experience was so difficult. The ego wants you to be distracted from these higher states of consciousness, because it can't control you when you are in bliss. If the ego keeps you distracted from being the I AM, then it wins the game, right? And that's what the ego's here for- to win or, really, to keep you safe. That's technically why it's here, but it starts to develop a lot of identities and a lot of tricks to keep you distracted and suffering. So here is another fun practice that you can do. You can start to watch your thoughts, but watching your thoughts only gives you so much of the ability to transcend or dissolve the ego. What I like to do is if I have thoughts in my head, I'll say, “I'm not that thought. I AM. I'm not what you just said or that identity.

(30:25):

I AM.” I also love this. And I've probably already mentioned this before, but it doesn't hurt to say it again. I love to ask my ego, “Is that all you have to say?” It's so much fun because as soon as I say to my ego, ”Is that all you have to say about that?” The ego flatlines, it literally has nothing else to say. And the silence is crazy, but just play with that and see what it's like. I'd love for you to leave it in the comments section and tell me what you think about that. Like, wow, you're right, Melissa. When I hear that, when I say that, “Is that all you have to say?”, the ego says nothing. I call it the flatline. It’s because there's nothing to say. So what are we doing? We are dissolving the ego to become the I AM.

(31:25):

So what is actually the I AM? It's the higher state of consciousness. It's blissfulness, oneness. You can have these experiences. I've been in meditation where I just feel so expanded and part of everything. And then I come out of my meditation and that experience was awesome, but I don't embody that energy that day. Sometimes I do. So sometimes you might just have the experience of that, but it may not be anchored in and that's okay. You're anchoring in parts of this I AM consciousness. What I mean by anchoring it in, because these higher states of consciousness are already part of who we are, that higher state of consciousness of blissfulness is already available to you. You don't have to go find your bliss somewhere. It's already there and already present, but you're unaware of it, right? Because your ego is distracting you. So when I talk about anchoring it in, what I mean by that is becoming the energy more and more, rewiring your brain to be in those higher states of consciousness

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more often, you actually become that energy because that's really who you are. You're being the energy of oneness. You're being the energy of bliss. So what would it be like to be without the identity? You don't want to start identifying with this oneness energy or anything else, because then the ego will create that into a spiritual ego. And you don't want to get caught up in that, but you want to be in the energy of who you truly are. And when you are in these higher states of consciousness, it feels like you are living in an alternate universe. And by the way, let me give you an example of this. And I may have mentioned this before, but one day I was driving down the road and I was in such a blissful state. I actually saw a telephone pole and I was like, oh my gosh, that beautiful telephone pole and how the other pole is leaning up against it.

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And it's so beautiful and amazing. And I'm sitting there thinking about, not really thinking, that's wrong. I was feeling this blissful thing. And I just saw beauty in the most mundane things, including a telephone pole. And when I recognized that I was in that state, I had been in it for most of the day, or a couple of days, I think, but when I remember thinking about that telephone pole, I was like, wow, when you can see such beauty and divine grace in a telephone pole, you know the world is perfect. You know, everything is just amazingly beautiful and you can't fathom anything being wrong. That experience is this blissful state. I'm only explaining this to you because I want you to know that that was an experience I had. It lasted a couple of days, maybe four days or so, but it wasn't like I had that the rest of my life.

(35:14):

I do have those experiences at different times, in meditation, days on end, weeks on end, but I don't have it all the time, but I may have this peaceful feeling or sometimes I don't care to control anything. I'm just like “Whatever happens. I really don't have any skin in the game. I'm just being and you just show me, universe.” I'm surrendering into it without any thought of control. All of these experiences I know are part of my I AM. That is what the real I AM is. It's this blissful higher state of consciousness. And when you're wrapped up in this I AM, and you're being the I AM, you don't worry about any identities or what other people think of you or what you think about yourself. So you want to start thinking about “What do you identify with?” And I want you to just watch your life and see it as perfect and go, oh wow.

(36:27):

I'm identifying that if this happens, I will feel better about myself. But in reality, you want to start just recognizing that everything is divine and surrender into it and recognize that any identity that you have, or any time that you identify with anything that you project out into the universe, a thought, a feeling, an awareness, all of that comes from ego. Now, if you have trauma, you definitely want to deal with your trauma because that's where most of your identity comes from, all your childhood traumas and issues and difficulties. So the I AM is not an identity. The I AM is nothing. It is literally nothing. You can't become the I AM. You are already the I AM. You can't try to find the I AM. It's already available to you. You can only be the I AM. That's the silence of the ego mind.

(37:42):

That's the silence of who you truly are, but your ego is kind of distracting you from that. So look at the I AM like this. The ego loves its projections because as it projects, it keeps you in suffering. And the I AM is only love. They are polar opposites. I AM is love. Ego is suffering. When you start to be the observer in your life and you observe the loving energy of the I am, and you observe this loving energy and you disconnect from your need to identify with any of it, you are more in your I AM. When you suffer, you're in that lower state of consciousness. And again, neither one is right or wrong. It's just an awareness, right? And this is part of the Ascension. You're working on moving past your ego's identity into the expansive oneness energy of all that you are.

(38:59):

So you want to start witnessing your ego, recognizing it, and maybe even re-listen to the other parts of this series on the Ego Dissolution to help you remember what it was to dissolve the ego. Because once the ego's more in a quieter state or you start to dissolve or chip away at the egoic identities or projections, you bring forward the I AM. The other thing you want to do is start asking yourself “Who am I? If you identify with something, you are the ego, but if you are nothing, if you feel nothing, I AM nothing, then you're more of the I AM consciousness. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. And please leave a review and share this with your friends. Have an amazing day.