Episode 45: Mastering Spiritual Evolution and Peyote Ceremony

Transcription

(00:40):
Hi, in this episode, I would love to share with you my Peyote vision and experience. And if you don't know what peyote is, this may be very interesting to you.
But first I want to share with you my passion and that is all about Ascension, transformation and moving into higher states of consciousness. And that is why I teach my Akashic Records certification. This is not the Akashic Records of your grandma. This is a completely different frequency because you're working in the Akashic Records on the quantum field. And when you do that, you're transforming and transmuting lower frequencies. I am currently running a special that if you sign up for this Akashic Record certification, I will give you a 15 minute reading and believe me, I can get a lot done in 15 minutes. I can give you a lot of information because I've been doing this a long time.

(01:49):
Now it's only for the first 20 people who sign up. So I will leave the link below, or you can go to Akashicrecordscertification.com. So it's Akashicrecordscertification.com. And in those courses, you are guided, it's all online and I have all the information online, and then you join me in live calls to ask questions. I give demonstrations. So I'll work on you in the class. If you are chosen, the spirit chooses, not me, it's random. And what we do is we are really diving deep into this really important transformation for us to ascend. We have to work through and dissipate those lower frequencies to become a higher vibration, and we're moving into that energy. So I would love for you to join me in this Akashic Records certification. Even if you choose not to do it on other people, it is life transformational.

(03:03):
And you also get to know other people in the class and you can work on each other. And I find a lot of people are transforming. I have many clients who have told me that their whole life has changed after this course. So again, akashicrecordscertification.com.
But now let's talk about this peyote experience that I had. So first, oh, a little bit of a background story. I am not one to do “plant medicine.” I did plant medicine recreationally when I was in late high school and into college. And well, maybe a little bit after that. I was definitely someone who smoked some weed back in the day, but I stopped smoking weed. And I even pulled back a lot on drinking because I started my spiritual experience and my evolution. And it was all about me working on myself. And I felt that any substances were not going to support me in that.

(04:09):
I felt that I was using it to escape. I was using it to numb out and disconnect. So the truth is I did it a lot in late high school, through college, a lot through college. And then as a young adult, I was still smoking weed. I did a little bit of coke here and there, and I didn't get into ecstasy or any of those other types of drugs. They never called to me. And I just didn't feel that that was something I was interested in. So my whole spiritual evolution has really been connecting with my higher consciousness and dissipating those lower frequencies so I can hold a higher frequency. You can't hold a higher frequency if you're living in a lower frequency. Now let's talk about weed for a second. Many years ago, spirit showed me how weed definitely raises your vibration. But then as you start to raise your frequency, if you smoke weed, it actually lowers your vibration.

(05:17):
Because once you hit a certain frequency that weed can't bring up your energy, it actually drags it down. But I see many people nowadays using weed as an idea that, oh yeah, this is a plant medicine. So it's helping me, but it's still a drug. And as I've told my children, their whole life, a drug is a drug. If a doctor gives you a drug, it's still a drug. If somebody says, this is a drug that really can't hurt you in any way, shape or form, it's still a drug. Sugar is a drug. Alcohol is a drug. Weed is a drug. What your doctors or psychiatrists give you, it's still a drug and you have to be very conscious. And that is what's important to me. Hey, I believe do what you need to do. Like, smoke weed all day long, every day, whatever you need to do.

(06:14):
That's cool. I'm never going to say you shouldn't be doing that. But the question is, how consciously are you doing it? I watch people at parties just toking away or taking edibles. And they're doing it as a party drug, which is fine. And I will tell you, I like to partake in a nice glass of wine. Very rarely will I have more than one. I just had a glass of wine last night and I was at a beautiful ceremony. It was so amazing for someone's celebration, a little birthday. And I really enjoy one glass of wine, maybe two, but I hadn't even had a glass of wine in over a month. So that just goes to show you, I only do it once in a blue moon, usually with friends. And it's just that I like the taste of wine, a good red wine, or a really good white wine, yummy.

(07:10):
But in Sedona, there is an interesting drug culture. I will say no judgment, just interesting drug culture. I came here back in July and a friend of mine said, “Hey, I'm going to do a mushroom journey out on the land all night long. Do you want to join me?” And I thought, okay, you know, I'll try this mushroom thing people talk about now. Remember I already have some really crazy interesting visions. I am also very in touch and connected multi-dimensionally and it was a great night. And we spent the night out in a cave, literally in the middle of nowhere in Sycamore Canyon. It was frickin phenomenal and amazing, but I didn't feel like I got this amazing information. I saw some things, but I wasn't blown away. Let's put it that way. I was not blown away. And then when I moved here, my good friend said, “Hey, I'm going to have a mushroom party.”

(08:18):
And I felt into it. And I was like, you know what, “I'm going to go all in. I'm going to do four grams,” which supposedly is a ton. And so I did four grams of mushrooms that night and it was a lot. And because I'm so sensitive, all I want to do is lay down. So I was in it for hours. Again, I wasn't really that impressed. I mean, yes, I said that it was cool seeing cartoonland, but I saw in that time that I was in cartoonland, that is what I call it, that it really didn't mean much to me and that I could see how it would be addicting, because if you're not used to experiencing this altered state of consciousness, then it could be pretty enticing to experience it. And then I went to Mount Shasta and my friend who does mushroom ceremonies said, “Hey, we're all going to do mushrooms tonight.” And I was like, “Yeah, I'm probably not going to do any. I'm flying out in the morning. Just not interested.” I'm super sensitive to mushrooms. And I'm sensitive to a lot of energy, so I didn't want to partake, but actually spirit told me to take a little bit. So I took some and when I took it, I went to an event. And when I take mushrooms, I just want to lay down and be in the womb of the earth. That's all I want to do. Just like a mushroom. I just want to connect to the womb. So I went to an event and it was actually pretty phenomenal. And I really got a lot out of that experience, but I don't think being on mushrooms made a difference. So I kind of decided that was it.

(10:06):
I was done with mushrooms. Not that interested. Didn't really give me anything different than I get in my daily connection with spirit and my meditations. And that's what I want to share with you. I find that a lot of people are hoping that they're going to get this grand experience on mushrooms or Ayahuasca dissipating their ego. But what I have seen firsthand with many people in the spiritual community who are partaking in a lot of plant ceremonies, they are building a stronger spiritual ego. They're doing it every weekend. They're doing it at parties. They are disconnecting and disassociating with their lower energies and chasing after this higher frequency. That is just my opinion. And that is just my observation, no judgment at all. I think everybody should do what they want. But what I've noticed is a lot of them are not really paying attention to what's going on inside.

(11:32):
And then they get hit really hard with a bunch of emotional issues and problems and disconnections. And then what happens? They go back to the plant medicine again, hoping to fix something, I’m assuming, that will make them feel better, make them be in this altered state of consciousness. But in reality, if you really want to be in an altered state of consciousness, plant medicine will only give you a quick fix because it won't help you deal with your issues. And that's what I really want to share with you. Plant medicine can create spiritual bypassing. It can create more spiritual ego. Again, do what you need. It's really okay. And this episode isn't about me telling you what I think about plant medicine, although it’s obviously turned into that. I just wanted to give you a perspective and where I'm coming from when I talk about plant medicine.
And then I was also very drawn to do Bufo. Now, Bufo, that is a whole other ball game.

(12:49):
Bufo is actually frog medicine. Now Bufo is not Kambo, which is Kambo is more about, and that's with a K that is more about detoxing. Bufo, I was super connected to it. I am obsessed with frogs. I love toads and frogs, always have, literally my whole life I have spent loving the frog and used to connect with frogs all the time. Catch them, play with them, love them, let them go again. I literally loved frogs my whole life. Near where I lived as a child, I spent a lot of time alone in the woods and in the swamp area. And I would take the frog eggs and I'd bring them home and I'd asked my dad to create something so I could put the frog eggs in there so I could actually experience them transforming and transmuting. It fascinated me. And then we would release them once they became little frogs, I'd put them back where they lived.

(14:04):
And this, I did this for many, many years. I remember being like 11 and 12 and still catching frogs and talking to them. Okay? Yes. I'm a little obsessed with frogs and love frogs. So Bufo came into my awareness. Now, Bufo is a very powerful plant medicine, or frog medicine, technically. When you smoke it, because you smoke it, you literally go into nothingness. You literally experience the void. Now I've experienced the void, but this helped me completely let go and become the nothingness, become the void. Now I was called to this medicine because it was time for me to really disengage. But what I was not expecting was the transformation that happened within a couple months of that. So I'm still experiencing some of the effects from the Bufo experience. It's more of a inner transformation that I've had and disconnecting from the egoic energies and having things come up for me that were holding me back from being in that oneness connection.

(15:33):
I will be honest with you. I will 99.9% never do Bufo again. I knew that one was a one and done. No, I have never tried Ayahuasca and I just want to say also I've done nothing up until a little over a year ago. And then I did all of these things. Then spirit brought my attention to a friend of mine who is a Native American. And he said he was doing a peyote experience. I have a memory of being a Native American male in Sedona or outside of Sedona near Polaski. And I had this spontaneous past life memory back in 2005, I think it was. And I thought that felt right, doing a peyote experience on the native land right near where I know I lived, I know I lived right around this one place. They were literally holding it down the road from where I had this experience, this past life experience.

(16:47):
So it was kind of synchronistic and it was a ceremony held by a Native American elder. Someone who has grown up with the peyote experience. So peyote is Native American. So I get all prepared to do this peyote experience. So we get there on Friday and the shaman who is doing the plant medicine, the peyote, he is cooking it all up. Now this is something he knows. He's literally done it his whole life. I go into the dome because this piece of land is really interesting. Super interesting. So I go into the dome area and I'm just meditating. And the energy of that peyote, even though it's just cooking, I was feeling it. I didn't even need to take it to experience it. Already, I'm getting into it. And then this is super cool. We had a little bit of broth to settle our stomachs. We go into a teepee, this beautiful teepee with a beautiful fire in the middle.

(18:02):
And it's chilly, by the way, you think, oh, Sedona is in Arizona. Let me tell you at night when the sun goes down, it is cold and it's starting to get even colder. It's because it's in November and December. So it's getting chilly. So we're outside in this amazing teepee with this beautiful fire going. So we start the ceremony and the shaman does his thing and we first eat the peyote. So it's kind of like a mushy substance, not even a puree. He calls it mush. I was trying to think of a better name, but I'll just call it what he was calling it, the mush. You gulp it down and then you drink the peyote water. So it's watered down peyote and you drink that. And we did a couple rounds, so we did one mush eating, two mush eatings and then we went and then you could drink more. Now two

(19:08):
mush eatings were plenty for me. I did not drink anymore because I know how sensitive I am to the substances. So I didn't want to overdo it. And we did a whole ceremony. We were sharing, singing songs, chanting. The shaman was chanting in his native language and it was very cool. Then I decided to go back to the dome because we're going to go into dream time. I did go into the dome thinking it would be warmer, but it was cold. But again, I think that's part of the experience. It's not about being comfortable. It's all about pushing you outside of your comfort zone so that you can disconnect more from the body and become more spirit or frequency or energy. And this is when it became very interesting for me. I went into a full visceral experience and I'm going to describe it as best I can because it was a full experience.

(20:15):
And I also want to say that I have had this type of experience in long-term meditations that I've done. If I'm meditating an hour or two, believe me, I can have the same exact experience that I did on peyote because peyote isn't as harsh. The way the shaman explained it was Ayahuasca is more about the lower chakra system. And peyote is more about the heart and heart opening energy. And I probably agree with that, although I have not done Ayahuasca, so I really can't say, but energetically, that makes sense because peyote is much milder and much more connected to love, to that frequency. So as I'm laying down and I finally get a little bit disconnected from my cold body, I started to witness these two birds. One bird was very, very large and the other bird was small, very small, and they were wrestling and they were wrestling with each other.

(21:28):
The bigger bird was trying to control the smaller bird, trying to make it do what it wanted the bird to do. And the little bird was pushing against it. And for me, the representation was two fold and they told me some of this. So I'm kind of going to give you an understanding also of what I heard. And it's not going to be in a chronological order because when you have these profound mystical experiences and I've had so many, I realize that it's never chronological because it happens in such a different frequency than linear time. So the birds are wrestling with each other and the smaller bird represented my higher consciousness and the larger bird represented my ego. And my ego was trying to control what the little bird was doing and how it was being, how it was acting, how it was experiencing its life.

(22:38):
Also, what I was told was that this also represents the masculine energy, which is the larger bird, and the feminine energy, which is the smaller bird, and how I would allow the masculine energy of others, of other's belief systems and even my own masculine energy take over what I intuitively know, what I feel is right, what I'm connected to and how this energy will try to control others, including me. Then the little bird had a feather in its mouth, so it wasn't wrestling anymore. It had a feather in its mouth. And I was told that this feather is helping the little bird feel bigger, feel more important, feel like it has power as well, because it was so small and how I give my power away to people and what they think I should do or what other people try to tell me I should do.

(23:58):
And they said to me, this is your last plant medicine. You do not need plant medicine. This isn't for you. And you can experience everything that you experience without it. Now I'm not going to say I'll never do it again, but most likely I'm going to follow this guidance. And what they showed me is that this masculine energy is going to try to talk me into doing things. And I have to be the little bird with the big feather, knowing that I have all the power I need in a feather, that's it. You don't need anything else. You don't need to be big. You have it all within you. All you need is a feather, which is light, which helps you fly, which helps you connect without needing to be a powerful being, without needing to exert your power. The power comes from a very light energy, a very connected energy.

(25:06):
The problem was that the next day I was going to go back to my house, take a shower, sleep in my own bed for a few hours, because literally you're up all night in this visionquest of peyote, and I was going to come back with my friend. But because I was shown not to come back, I had to tell the shaman that I wasn't going to come back the next night and I'll explain what happened then, because there's more to this experience in the dream time. So I want to finish the dream time experience. And then I was also shown so clearly how I've tried to fit in my whole life in elementary school. But I spent a lot of time alone in elementary school and middle school. Boy did I try to fit in. I tried to do what everybody else was doing.

(26:00):
And in high school, college, same thing. And I also had children and I was married and I had been doing my spiritual work for a long time. And I didn't talk about a lot of what I did or my belief systems, because no one around me understood that, or even knew anything about spirituality. I had one friend who was kind of interested in it and we would read some books and talk about it sometimes. I never fit in. So I would talk to these parents about these mundane things. But luckily I always had my spiritual community because I was actually a spiritual teacher. I was a spiritual teacher before I even had my second child. I was teaching classes. So I'd be the spiritual person and then this mom, and I wasn't integrated in those two experiences. It was like I was two different people because I could talk to other moms about mom stuff,

(27:02):
dad's about dad stuff, other people in general. And then I had my spiritual community. And then, you know, of course I was a teacher. So a lot of my students were spiritual, but I was so busy with my children, raising my children and doing my work, which were my two passions. The most important things in my life are those two things. I didn't have a lot of friend-friends, especially in those years. I had a lot of acquaintances because my family was number one to me. And my work was the most important thing besides my children and my family. So I'm in this peyote dream-time experience and they're being very clear and who do I mean by ‘they’? People always ask me, who do you mean by ‘they’? They do not have names. They are not specific beings. They are collective energies because I am an Ascension teacher.

(28:04):
And these beings, these collective consciousnesses that work with me, help me to transform so that I can be the frequency leader that's needed. I don't overthink it. Most of them are collective consciousnesses. Once in a while, a Wayne Dyer will come through. Once in a while some other ascended master, but most of the time it's a collective. So it's not like one being, it's like 10, 20 thousands. I've actually had thousands talk to me at once. So they are the beings that I trust 100%. You will hear the exact reason I trust them. And you will hear exactly what this is all about. It's fascinating because what you hear in the rest of the story, you're going to be like, “Holy Toledo, that's crazy!” So they told me, my guidances, these collective beings, they explained that even in Sedona, I don't really belong because I see things so differently

(29:16):
than many, many spiritual people in Sedona. Many of them are afraid. They're angry at the government. They believe there's all these conspiracies. And they're trying to kill us with chemtrails. And, and I'm not saying it's wrong or right. That's not my point at all because I don't get caught up in the fear energy because spirit has shown me what fear creates, what the fear energy of conspiracy theories creates. I see it so clearly. But they are very connected and caught up in it. I see the divine in everything that's happening. I'm not afraid. I don't need to fight it because I'm not going to match that energy. And it's very controversial in the spiritual community. It's actually more prevalent for people to be in conspiracy, people to see fear, people to be angry about mask/no mask, people to be angry about vaccine/no vaccine.

(30:28):
And this is again the dichotomy, the duality of our experience. And it's hard for me to see that. I see love. I see beautiful people. I see the beauty in this whole crazy experience that we're experiencing. And this is probably for another podcast, but I will say the reason I see it as that is because spirit has shown me time and time and time and time again what the Ascension is and the energy of this whirlwind push/pull of duality. That's going to propel us forward. We need this energy of duality, but I'm not going to hate it because I think everything is divinely created. And I'm also not going to feed the matrix of fear with more fear. That's feeding a really low frequency. Fear is a hugely low frequency and I just can't do it. So I don't fit in with so many people who are screaming about chemtrails and
vaccines.

(31:40):
I just don't resonate with that. And so people will say, “Well, you're in denial.” No, I'm not. I see more darkness than you realize, but I recognize in all darkness there's always light and in recognizing the darkness, I send the darkness love. If I see a lower frequency, I see it in love and I send it love and it can't hold the energy if I love it. And what they told me was it's okay that I don't fit in. It's perfectly okay. And I have to be okay with that, instead of trying to people-please and trying to fit into the spiritual community. I should just be myself. And of course I knew this. I mean, this isn't rocket science. It's pretty understandable. But because these spiritual people had a certain culture that I wasn't really exposed to on the east coast with the people that I knew and my own clients.

(32:47):
And then they went back to the bird and they were saying, look, this bird has so much power. There's so much power in this bird. And this feather that she carries is really the feather of awareness. And she thinks it's going to make her look bigger when she thinks of it from the egoic state. But in reality, the feather is just a feather and you are powerful with or without the feather in your beak. You don't need to be what other people want you to be. And then they also said, “You absolutely do not have to do the next peyote tonight.” And they showed me how I'll feel guilty and I'll feel like I committed to it. I should really follow through, but my guidance was so clear. Do not go back tonight. It was so clear that it was important for me not to do the next night of peyote.

(33:51):
And there was this part of me that felt like I would be disappointing the shaman, disappointing all my friends who were there and that I wasn't doing what I should do as the good girl. But I need to follow my guidance. And then they were showing me how I've always acquiesced a lot to the masculine energy around me. And I have a pretty powerful energy. And some people would say that I actually have a lot of masculine energy myself. I'm very strong. I've been described as many different things, meaning that I can hold a really safe space, but also help people break through their barriers, break through their fears. And I can stand strong in that. So it's interesting how they were showing me that I still acquiesce to that masculine energy and how I claim to be this powerful woman. Well actually, I don't claim to be anything.

(35:01):
I shouldn't even say that because you would not hear me say something like that. But inside, I feel very strong in my convictions and who I am and loving myself. But there's also this part of me that wants to be liked in a way, right? So the ego sneaks in and is like, “You don't want to get this shaman mad at you. You want them to like you, you want to fit in Melissa,” right? And they were saying, “You have to stand up for yourself and know that this guidance is clear and people will try to talk you out of how you create your life because the way that you create is different from many others. How you manifest is different because you're coming from that little bird. You're not coming from the big, make-things-happen bird. You're coming from the ease of the transformational energy from feminine intuition, connection with your own spiritual guidance.

(36:13):
And we are being clear not to go and it's up to you, but that is what our message is to you.” Recognize that the masculine energy in our world right now ,and I know a lot of men don't like it when I'm saying this, but it's not about the male. It's not about men and women. So take that out of the equation. So the masculine energy of control, of fear, of making things happen, making it happen, making it happen. And the other extreme of feminine energy, of just allowing. Now, when you have the balance of masculine-feminine energy, that balance, you can be in the complete flow and be very grounded, which is masculine. You can be in complete connection with your intuition and get a lot of things done. I get a lot of things done because I'm very grounded and aware of how to get things done in the flow of the feminine.

(37:25):
So I use the masculine, doing energy and the flow of the feminine. And boy, oh boy, can things be created in a miraculous way! So they were telling me, be more connected to the feminine today. You need to be in your feminine energy and get things done. So when you explain to anyone, be aware that you know your own connection with how you create and how you manifest. And then they showed me how in many lifetimes, how I've been very powerful more in the feminine energy. I shouldn't say that. I take that back. They're correcting me. How I've utilized the feminine energy in the masculine energy, and how even my healing is changing because I'm really becoming more in balance. Now that does not make me special. Let's just be really, really clear. Anything I could do, you could do better. Right? My point is that I am not special.

(38:40):
There's nothing that is special about me. Somebody emailed me recently and said, “Well, you were probably born with this, this and this.” I was born with a knowing. I was not born with clairvoyance, although I had some of that. But I knew. I just knew in my heart so many different things, but believe me, I came here with karma, like the rest of you. I came here with my own crap to deal with, to transform and transcend. So everyone and anyone can do these things too, can be in this balance. And remember I've done not even shadow work, I've done a deep, deep dive into this major transformation that I do in the Akashic Records on the quantum field. It is a powerful, life-changing experience. And because of that, because I've transformed and transmuted these lower frequencies, I can anchor in more of my higher consciousness that helps me balance that masculine/feminine.

(39:45):
And I see this in so many of my clients as well. So if they can do it, anyone can do it. And I've really spent a lot of time working on myself. This has been a long process because that's just what my choice was and how I evolved energetically on this earth plane. So they were showing me this balance of masculine and feminine and how I am here to hold that frequency. And even though I don't fit in, even though I'm not like everyone else, that is not important. I am not here to make friends or to be like everyone else. I have to stay true to my mission. And don't get all caught up in the word mission. It's the only word I can use that feels authentic to me right now. And I've never really used that word in the past because it's not like one mission, but I've come here to hold a frequency.

(40:52):
And that's my mission. My mission is to share this experience, share this knowledge and help others to do what they're supposed to do in this world. I don't want followers. I'm not interested in people looking at me in any certain way. Other than maybe what I say can help them become who they truly are. Empowerment is our key. And my mission, if we were breaking it down, is to empower others into being who they are meant to be, who they really truly are. And as they're showing me all these things, they’re saying, “Hey, you are not here to be liked. You are not here to fit in. You are not here to change anyone. You are not here to strong arm or make other people believe anything. You're here to be. So be who you are, be your truth. And you have really understood what it means to completely surrender and follow your own energy patterns through love.

(42:05):
You recognize that, and you have the availability to follow these things. And only when your ego gets involved of wanting to be liked or be important or anything else that's when you trip up, you are here to follow your guidance and to show others how to follow theirs authentically with love and connection to their truest being selves, disconnecting from the egoic wants and needs. So this was a pretty powerful experience. And in the morning we went back to close the ceremony and we did a share and I'm balling saying how I don't fit in. Even with the people in Sedona where I thought I'd fit in. And, and I have a great community, don't get me wrong. Like I have great friends here and people, I truly, truly love. I've found a lot of soul friends here. I still sometimes don't feel like I fit in, right.

(43:10):
I just don't. And I'm crying because it's very emotional for me. And then we go back into the house and we have breakfast. So we're in the teepee. We come back, we have breakfast. I eat to kind of ground myself a little bit, have some fun laughing times with some great people. And I'm about to leave soon. And I walked up to the shaman and I said, “I just want you to know I am not coming back tonight.” I explained that I was not coming back because spirit showed me very clearly that I'm not to be there that second night. And he said to me, and I'm going to paraphrase because I don't remember exactly what he said. He said, “I understand that you follow your guidance, but you need to learn to manifest. You need to learn to create your creations. You don't want to just let someone do that for you,

(44:09):
meaning spirit. You need to learn to manifest and create. And the energy that we're doing tonight is going to be gentler. It's going to be more in the feminine energy and you should really reconsider coming back because I know that you like to give your energy and your power to someone else on the spiritual side manifesting for you, but really you should learn to manifest.” And I responded by saying, “Well, I don't like to manifest from my ego.” And he said, “That is where you should be manifesting from, from the place of what you desire and what you want.” And that is exactly the opposite of what my guidance was that night. Like literally the opposite. They showed me this conversation in a way, in the very beginning, when those two birds were wrestling with each other, when the masculine bird was trying to control the feminine energy and tell it what to do. Now, I don't blame the shaman.

(45:22):
I mean, he certainly believes this and I understood what he was saying. I really do. I get what he was saying. I also recognize that my life is 100% magical. And when I explained to my friend, as we were driving back to my house about what the shaman told me, she was laughing. She's like, you don't have any problems manifesting. I'm creating. And I was like, I understand, but he doesn't know me. He's just coming from his own place. And he wanted me to stay. And guess what? This isn't the end of the story. And I hope you're staying with me because this is where the story gets really, really interesting. It's going to floor you what I'm going to tell you next. So I go to bed early because I'm exhausted. Never slept. Didn't sleep much during the day. And I'm tired. So I think I went to bed probably eight or eight thirty at night. In the middle of the night, my phone rings.

(46:26):
And this is when I'm supposed to be in a peyote experience with my phone off where I get no reception in the middle of nowhere in Sedona. And now I never have my ringer on. The only people who can ring through are my sister and my two children. The phone starts ringing. I'm in a dead sleep. I answered the phone. I see that it's my son and I answer, and he is distraught. So, so upset. Now my children are young adults. And so if my son is upset about something in the middle of the night, I'm going to pay close attention to what happens next. And he tells me, and this is a private matter. So I will only give you a tiny piece of it. He tells me that my daughter was assaulted and that she's with the police right now. I live in Arizona.

(47:23):
My children are both in Boston, living in the city. My daughter's going to college there. My son went to school there and he's working there. I said to my son, can you go to her? And he said, mom, I'm in Maryland. He was with his father in Maryland for the holidays. My daughter wasn't going to go to Maryland for Thanksgiving because she was going to Madrid with her friends. And literally it's the middle of the night. And I really felt into it. And I was like, I need to go to my daughter. So I jumped into the shower. I pack a bag. I make a flight to Boston. I leave at like three o'clock in the morning drive to the Phoenix airport, which is a good two-ish hours away. I park. I don't even have a flight home. At this point, I grabbed my dog.

(48:21):
By the way, I brought my little dog who can get on an airplane. And I brought the dog because I knew my daughter would need the dog. So the dog and I bring our carry-ons. We get onto the plane. I fly to Boston. I get there around four o'clock and I spent a few days with my daughter before she left for Madrid. If I had been in this peyote experience, number one, I would have taken my phone off, turned it off completely. And I wouldn't have had cell service anyway, in the middle of nowhere. I would have been devastated that I wasn't there for my children because not only did my daughter need me, but my son did too, because my daughter had called him so upset. So distraught. He was upset. And look, my kids come first, always. And I also see that they are on their own paths.

(49:23):
And I don't try to control who they are, what they are, what they do. I trust in their path. But I also am a very loving, caring person and they are my children. So I was there for them. And I honor that if I had not followed my guidance, if I had listened to the shaman and felt guilty, like I had to do this, I wouldn't have been there for my children. And I wouldn't have been there for myself. I wouldn't have honored my own inner guidance. What I realize from this whole experience is that I do create my experience and I live in the flow connected consistently to my own higher consciousness. Even though I may say I look outside of myself for my guidance, I know that my guidance is from my own higher consciousness, whether it's from another being or not, it is from my own higher consciousness.

(50:35):
And now more than ever, I trust. I know that I am here to help usher in the new Age of Aquarius. I know that I'm here to support others on their path. And that is why I do this podcast, because I want to share everything I can with you, share all my experiences and help you transform and transcend. So I would love it if you subscribed. Please subscribe to this podcast, write a review. Unfortunately on Spotify, you can't write a review. I just found that out. But if you could do it on iTunes or another way, that would be great. I appreciate your time. And I hope that you really are getting something important from this. So actually what I'm hearing is for you to take one thing from this, and what I'm hearing is for you to take the understanding that it's okay to follow your heart and not let your mind or anyone else's mind or ego distract you from love, distract you from moving forward in your own connection. Look, 2020 to 2023, up until about 2025, is going to be an interesting ride. The more you transcend and transmute and hold a higher frequency, the more you will be helping the collective through this Ascension. I send you so much love. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review because guess what? That really helps. I will talk to you next week and I love you.