I was speaking with a few friends last night and we were talking about how we attract the energy that is already in our field. That means that you are attracting the repressed anger or hurt that you have been experiencing since childhood.

Your relationships reflect that energy, no matter if it’s the person at work that you feel betrayed by or your mother.

Every relationship gives you the opportunity to transcend your past and find peace.

The first action to create peaceful relationships is to Ground and Center. That was in my last newsletter and is now in my blog. Here is the link to Part 1.

The second way to create peaceful relationships is to create healthy boundaries.

2. Create Boundaries

This is the key to all peaceful relationships. Without healthy boundaries, you will feel taken advantage of or angry at those who you feel victimized by. You know you have weak boundaries if you say yes to doing things for others but complain or become upset about having to do them.

If you feel drained of energy or overwhelmed after you are around certain people, your boundaries are weak.

You may have certain situations or people in which you have stronger boundaries and other times weak boundaries, so I suggest you get to know how to create strong boundaries.

The more aware you are of your boundaries, the more peaceful your life will be.

Often, people do not understand or know what their boundaries are or how to implement them.

Take time to be self-reflective and ask yourself these important questions. I suggest you journal about this a few times so you can go deeper and deeper.

  • Did your family respect your boundaries as a child?
  • When you felt unsafe or uncomfortable in a situation, did your family tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way?
    • Like “Give Uncle Bo a kiss, don’t be shy” even though you didn’t feel safe to do that.
  • Do you feel obliged to do certain things for others even if you don’t want to?

Once you do the above exercise, you can:

  • Start practicing by saying, “I will get back to you about that” while looking into your eyes in the mirror.
    • This is so helpful because even though it feels weird at first, it becomes a natural response.
    • And saying it to yourself will help you feel more empowered when you say it to others.
    • Now that you’ve practiced the above phrase, start saying it to everyone about everything that is asked of you.
    • “Mom, can I have a snack?” asks your child. “I will get back to you about that” you say.

Use these tools often, even if you know it’s a yes! This will help you to start to pause before you move ahead.

You were taught poor boundaries. You may be a hard ass at work, but let your family walk all over you.

If you experienced a lot of chaos as a child (not knowing what would happen next or being shuffled around a lot) you weren’t taught healthy boundaries.

This is a life skill that will help you in every relationship, including your relationship with yourself!


© 2022 Melissa Feick

Spiritual Expansion Academy™