There isn’t a puppeteer making you do or say anything. Each moment you are creating your next moment. You are the driver of your bus of life, and you call every catalyst to you. These catalysts will help you grow as a spiritual being and it helps you to recognize where you give your power away.
The mystics know this and see through the idea that you are the victim to circumstances. They show you how to understand how the pain and difficulties in your life help your spiritual development.
I don’t believe in lessons, most people see lessons as negative, I usually don’t hear people say they learned a lesson of winning the lottery and finding the love of their life. I see everything we experience as just that, an experience, not a lesson.